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     Umm a few more days before the school start again. There has been many things happened around me these days. Some good and some has raised my concern; some also causes me to take a step back and reflect on what has been going on. Generally i was in JB from Sunday to monday night. It was alright to me as because get to meet up with family and enjoying meal together. As usual, gathering with family is very important to me. So i thank God for this opportunity.

     After gathering with family, I was asked to join in my parents’ cell group and was given some time to share. I was nervous and really sweating as i realised my limitation on speaking Malay to the people. Sharing in Bahasa also made me sweat because i have been so used to sharing, thinking, talking in English. Anyway.. i went ahead and tried my very best to speak malay during the cell. One thing that i realised didnt do well was about my focus was too much on my disability to communicate rather than focus on Jesus. It disturb me to the point when i am about to pray for others. I was struggling and really wish for more favor from the Lord.

     Anyway… it went well during the prayer and sharing part was alright too… Still thank God that He was there to guide me. Coming to the night time as i started to talk to one of my friends.. I was rather disturbed and was puzzled about what this friend has gone through… Prayed and prayed and the same time i was really really hurt and sad about what has gone wrong. I am not sure whether I have been liking this friend. I would say that I dare not move forward as i have not heard confirmation from God about positivity in liking this person.

     What has held me back is the fact about what i have gone through in my last relationship. I was being disobedience and most of the time didnt listen to God’s instruction. I am still thankful that even though i was rebellious, He still there to take care of my well-being. This time… I am really hoping to just settle down as the Lord confirm it.

     So at the mean time, what i can do is to care for this friend from distance and being there when she needs help. Coming to monday late afternoon, actually, i was more or less been pleading and searching for answer about how and what to do to encourage and to comfort this friend. How i long can just be there to cheer her up and be of help whenever possible. However… God is great and He is greater than anything else. He took care so much better than i can do. Umm… of course it is my joy to know that through the word and comfort from HIM , she has recovered and i do look forward to see her grow more in HIM and being used mightily for HIS Kingdom purpose.

     In short, its been great to see how this friendship has led me to see more of The Hand of God in healing, friendship, favor, and prayers answered. It is my prayer that God will continue to guide me in His everlasting ways and that I will be given more opportunity to glorify HIM. Amen…

     It’s been sometime for me to do reflection. There has been many many things happening here. From Spiritual walk, studies, friendship, health and in the process of planning/praying for getting to know more about a friend. Thinking about having struggle, I would say that it’s not been easy journey to walk through. One thing that i always remember is what Pastor Prince shared during one of the service i attended in New Creation Church==> We struggle because we walk out from the umbrella of Grace, thus we lost our peace.

     Generally, I thank God for His guidance and teaching toward me these days. It’s been more fun than any other activities that I even join. Right now I am really in the process of trusting God in terms of health. It’s been a mouintain to me actually, because i was having swollen left ankle and it got kinda bad when a doctor told me what was it. When i first heard it, it wasnt the thing that i want to listen and i really got burned up within myself and my spirit. Times and times again i rebuke the thought and what he has said in the Name of Jesus.

     Its tough to claim healing and really let the word of the Lord to sink in our spirit when we are battling with our physical situation. However I still want to give praise to God when His message and teaching was passed unto me through newsletters, prayers of my church leaders and through my own quiet time where all the messages were coming together as one message. Its really comforting to know that confirmation coming from everywhere. Really thankful for all the friends that The Lord has sent to me.

     About friendships, umm… its kinda tricky though. Indeed i got short-fused over a team member who was apparently standing from different ground as me. It was quite bad ending though.. But i am trying to keep the end result open by letting the door for the team member to re-join again. How i came to that decision because i remember of what the Lord has done for me overtime. The fact that He didnt cut me off from His plan and blessings…

     Coming toward life-journey and relationship… This one is kinda simple and yet complicated or can be seen vice versa. All I long is to be an effective vessel for God and I do look forward to every minutes and seconds where i can be in His presence. However i am battling with some habits in me where i felt it stopped me in some part of journey. It sucks but i will not back down. As for now.. sometimes i long to have someone who would share the same passion to walk alongside and also someone who could complement one another. Up to this point i do notice there is one friend whom i have observe sharing similar passion in some way, but i dare not come into conclusion first. Reason is because i have not heard anything from the Lord whether she is the one for me. Yeah.. anyway it is of course something that i do look forward to know.

     After went through relationship twice, i feel that was enough for being disobedience in terms of choosing partner. I would hope that this time i can really wait upon Him to guide me to the person He has prepared for me. So at the mean time, i would look at life journey as something that can be fun, enjoyable and yet challenging. That’s why sometimes i would pray and really ask for more grace and mercy from Him. Heehee it’s because sometimes i would be disobedience and challenge the guidance from His Spirit… hu hu hu….

     Anyway.. i would end here first… kinda sleepy now=)

     It’s been a great day today. Marvelous time of sharing with a friend and also great time of watching a video from this website ==> http://www.thegatewayintl.org/index.php?src=home Please check them out if you are happen to read this. As from the title you’re reading it is called Worship. yeah.. it’s been a great time to know what God can do even though only a glimps each time but it is just so excited that i can’t help to just worship and marvel at what He has done. To me… worship is just awesome and so in-filling and just be there with HIM to be refresh, renew and to be cleansed over and over again. Worship also carries such an impact where it is just between you and God. When a group of people or church coming together to worship… its just marvelous, glorious and i would call super magnificent especially when God shows up. Healing, deliverance, prophetic words, and many more would just take place. Yeah… Praise God for all these =) Amen!!!

     This week has been pretty quiet and rather "draining". Has been spiritually burned up and really need a fresh touch from the Lord again. Some part of me feels that i need more of spiritual food and rest in HIM but another part of me wanting to be more useful and effective for His Kingdom Works. For those who are reading this blog… do keep me in prayer.. Thanks =)