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     At the moment I am not really sure how to describe what i think or what i feel at the moment… Its been a roller coster weeks for me. Quite many things have taken place. From having spiritual attack, getting spiritual blockage, thinking of someone (also include wanting to know how would the other party response and whether or not has heard anything from the Lord); on the other hand getting excited about mission trip to india, despite of spiritual blockage and attack The Lord deliver me from those troubles and indeed God deserve all glory, honor and praise.

     I personally wanna thank God about what has happened in my life. For the last few months, i really feel more of His presence and I do feel bad when i am not channeling myself unto Him. Its just a WOW feeling to be in His presence. Because of desiring and wanting to be in His presense, it is the very first time for me really to lay down the person whom i like and hope to be with unto God. Personally i do get and have confirmations about her and  there will always human tendency that hope to work something out.

     However, I am still thank God that He preserve me and grant me a peaceful heart and well being. I just hope that in whatever i do.. God will be pleased and hoping to continue to stay in His presence. It is my prayer and hope that people around me can experience His love and live a victorious lives.

     It’s been up and down week for me these days. Somehow feeling rather tired and having dry throat, a bit of coughing and running nose. Thick haze would be one of the problem. Anyway.. I was thinking of giving up the worship on sunday (which actually today in church). Have been struggling with the fact dare not use too much of my voice or sing loud. Anyway.. before coming to what has happened today maybe i would say a little bit of what has been happening on friday night during the cell group meeting. Was actually watching one of the HIllsong Conference CDs. Actually i was pretty much struggling with what do i need to do with the band and worrying a lot about my voice.

     What has happened was that during the cell.. one of the guest speaker on the CD was sharing about putting down the tape measurement and let God reign in our lives. I was totally blown off with that message. Indeed sometimes i do have limited God in what He can do in my life by simply saying.. maybe i am not able to do that, who am i to think about this and that… how can i lead worship while i am in this state.. or what do i need to do to have good worship.. After hearing the message.. actually i praise God that He gave me the assurance to go for cell group and indeed i have learnt something there.

     Coming to saturday and sunday.. I would give all the glory and honor to God the Father and to Jesus… The worship was awesome and just felt the presence of the Lord so strong and I personally enjoyed the moment a lot. Really there is nothing i can do to reach that level unless God was there leading the whole band and the church. I do feel happy, excited and thankful to God for giving me such an opportunity to be part of His worship band. =)

     After the worship was as usual spending time with my church friends to just talk and share what has been happening. Currently there are down to few things that need to be taken care off.. They are my coming exams from November 17th to November 25th. Then from Nov 10th to 17th will be the mission trip to India and relationship-related issue which still waiting for God’s answer.

     Seems to be pact schedule ahead and yet excited about it. Of course having exam will be the part where i am wanting to get some discipline upon myself especially in the area of revision. As for Mission trip.. it will be my very first time to India and actually i would say it is the furthest place i will be visiting after Taiwan.

      As far as my time table and scheduling concern.. Umm i am pretty alright with that. Of course for some instance i will be missing a person here and there.. But still Praise God for He is good. Anyway.. gotta do some stuff first =) Peace..

Hosanna

Praise is rising,

Eyes are turning to You, we turn to You

Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You

We long for You

‘Cause when we see You

We find strength to face the day

In Your presence all our fears are washed away

Washed away…

Hosanna Hosanna

You are the God who saves us

Worthy of all our praises

Hosanna Hosanna

Come have Your way among us

We welcome You here Lord Jesus

Hear the sounds of hearts returning to You

We turn to You

In Your Kingdom broken lives are made new

You make us new

‘Cause when we see You

We find strength to face the day

In Your presence all our fears are washed away

Washed away

     I have been listening to this song again and again for the last 2 hours. It’s been such a comfort and bring warmth to myself. Thank God for the worship pastor named Paul Baloche. Basically through his teachings and sharing and his songs, I have encountered different level of worship style altogether. Ranging from the preparatory stage, practice, prayer, style of playing.. They are all have been awesome and great to know =) Very very excited about worship…

     Now i do have a clearer picture on what Jason Ma has shared in December 2004 during the youth camp. He shared that when we are meeting God face to face during the worship.. the felling is just WOW… AWESOME… JUST WOW… Now i can feel what he felt.. For the last few months, I really wanna thank God for what He has done for me and the guidance from the Holy Spirit has really brought a big impact in my spiritual journey altogether.

     The next big thing is definitely my mission trip to India. It is another prayer answered where i remember to pray and asked God that i wanna go to india this year. Basically i will be there from Nov 10th till Nov 17th. As for now I really don’t have any idea what will i be doing there. The only thing i can do is to avail myself to be used by the Lord when i am there. Therefore i need many support in terms of prayer and definitely prayer support for the team as well.

     So in a nutshell.. I would say that the journey has been great and colorful. Whether it is my study, spiritual walk or even in the area of ‘relationship’. For the area of study, it is indeed quite a fun activity to do. There are various learning curves and approaches in study. For the area of worship, there have been many many encounters and occassions where i learn to see that there are many many different style of worship, beautiful languages for worship, and truly something that really matter is "the heart of worship".

     As for spiritual journey… i do thank God for bringing me through by meeting different people in both cell group and my personal life. Its been great to see how my friends are growing and just so happy to see how they are becoming more and more on fire and wanting for more from God. For my personal journey, basically i thank God for a prayer buddy. There are too much to say about this situation.

     What has made me so excited and happy is the fact that i can see how she has been growing and also in the area of prayers where many different prayers and interceding have been answered by the Lord. As in the area of the Word, I do personally look forward and wanting to grow in this area as well. Much being said and done, i do personally discovered that as time travel, i do develop an interest to know more about this prayer buddy and really hoping to hear from God whether she is the one that He has prepared for me. It’s been very tempting to make a move, but i do afraid that I am moving at the wrong timing and at the wrong place. But as for now.. i am happy to be able to maintain good contact and happy with the situation where both can keep one another in prayer, bible study, sharing and friendship. I do wish to move into deeper friendship when there is an opportunity. Thanks be to God

     Well well well… 5 injections for today.. Didnt expect to have that much of injections at one time… Was filled with with sweat and nervousness as entering the injection room… Thank God that it turned out to be fun time in that room. Right now waiting for the laboratory result on whether i need to go for Anti- Hept B injection… Didnt like the idea of having injection actually..

     Anyway.. after all been said and done.. it was alright.. just that my arms felt a bit weird. Looking at it.. ummm nothing much actually.. because i dont have much outdoor activities ahead. Soon after coming out from hospital basically i went out with a friend for revision and had dinner at jurong east and finally sat around at the Science park for a talk.

     Had a bit of talking and sharing about what’s been going on these days… Discussing about studying and some major issues in each of our daily life. For me i was a lot more thinking about what and how should i move next. Dealing issue with my revision, thinking about what is my next move on the girl whom i am interested in and of course my very first trip to india.

     Trip to India will be an exciting one… I do look forward to learn more things there and most importantly is to know more about God… From the information i got is that the mission trip is consist of 6 people. Pretty small group indeed.. About study.. i will need to revise slowly from now… REally need God’s favor and mercy for this, as, i do struggle for number of topics for this term.

     Coming to relationship… basically i am still searching for answer whether i am spotting on the right girl.. It’s been fun to talk, share, pray and to be able to encourage one another. Of course there are number of great things happened where i was just filled with amazement and thanksgiving on how God has healed each one of us and how He answered many of our prayers. Personally i enjoyed this time where able to see how both of us can grow in the Word and spiritual journey. So even though for now it is very tempting to make a fast move to tell her.. but i got held back when i realised that i have not heard anything from the Lord.

     Anyway.. Its been weeks and weeks of journey where i would say it’s been fun and great times ba.. Praise You Jesus.. Your grace is always enough for me..